Karma: Goldilocks, Three Bears, A Lucky Dog, & Rodger's Covid Toe!

Goldilocks - Home Wrecker

More overwhelming absurd news may prove that whoever said, "Truth is stranger than fiction," may have been in touch with True Karma. Three stories follow one true, one partially true and one a spoof. Check your social media sophistication by figuring out how to sort truth from fiction. (All revealed at the end.)

     

    First a Bear Story from childhood!  Goldilocks & The Three Bears: The girl Goldilocks broke into the Three Bears Home, broke a chair, ate their porridge, pooped in the toilet, didn't flush, made a mess, fell asleep in one of their beds. They woke her when baby bear exclaimed, "My someone's been sleeping in my bed, and here she is." She got up jumped out a window without even saying, "Thanks for breakfast and not eating me," and ran away. Goldilocks, although easily recognizable due to her hair was never brought to justice for breaking and entering. Did this give rise to the myth that Blonds Have More Fun?

 

  Now all these years later Karma plays out. Three Bears broke into a California man's home, trashed the place then ate his whole bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. To thank him, stimulated by the finger licking good grease, they pooped heartily on the floor before strolling off. No they did not wipe with Charmin.

    Oh, My God, Taylor Swift, broke up with what's his name. Probably Tom, Dick or Harry! I can't be bothered with too much detail here. Now Taylor Swift who is not a real bird or a tailor, but a famous singer song writer has written the one millionth Break Up Song. Featured on Saturday Night Live her song is sure to be a hit and make her another several million dollars. Evidently she's nearly plausibly responsible for quarterback Aaron Rodgers Covid toe. 

     Here's the Karmic Scoop on Aaron Rodgers! Early on in Covid  he learned that Taylor Swift is worth 400 million compared to his measly 120 million. Ever the competitor Rodgers immediately ordered a guitar and a stocking hat. His plan to revive folk music by becoming a retired MVP quarterback who sings about his measly stock options and other investments and all the Karma laced people who've done him wrong. A very sad tale indeed, him being something akin to a coal miner's daughter or son of a tomato picking migrant from the Sierra Madre, that could send his bank account soaring. Assuming it's   not a failed Hail Mary. 

    Remember, to become a vaccine expert Rodgers consulted with a pod caster, two witch doctors, natural for a hunted witch, a magic eight ball and social media. Now an avowed antivaxxer maybe Aaron's just afraid of needles. The ridiculous fact that over 200 million of his fellow Americans had been successfully vaccinated doesn't count. As reported he misled the media and his adoring fans implying that indeed he had gotten vaccinated when he hadn't. Then he got Covid was quarantined ten days, got fined over $14,000 for thumbing his nose at NFL protocols, missed one game the Packers lost that they should have won. When he returned to the team with a severely compromised baby toe he initially blamed it on Covid toe. Later he confessed that he broke the toe --  he claimed while working out on his own. How exactly it got broke I don't know, but that won't stop me from speculating in the song I wrote  titled; "Aaron Rodgers Covid Toe Blues." Recorded live in the Poet's Room.    Now to feed grain into the ongoing Rodgers rumor mill. Rodgers to get ready to transition into his folk singing career started strolling around his back yard barefoot while strumming the guitar. Working on a sure to be hit single, "I'm nearly the greatest there every was if you don't count Brady's Super Bowl Rings. So near, so far, the stars, stars, stars....." When he stubbed his little toe on a Black Walnut that had fallen in the fall from a walnut tree in his yard. His gardener being sick with Covid couldn't get in and pick it up. Dropping the guitar, grabbing his foot he began hopping around yelling, "Covid, blame it on Covid....Woes me, blame it on Covid." Evidently Rodgers still denies that he may have some Karma issues to work through. (Note: Covid, blame it on Covid, has the making of a hit record   now on my You Tube channel to hear the song  hit the play arrow below. You'll see me in a Green Bay Packers Jersey with stocking hat ala Rodgers.)

 

  

   Proof that Dog's have Buddha nature and karma. Countess Karlotto Libenstien left 106 million dollars to her faithful German Shepard Gunther III. Gunther III wisely invested the money. His son Gunther IV is now worth 372 million dollars. Good Karma at work as Gunther IV is one Lucky Dog. Could Rodgers next consider retirement as a German Shepard?

    In my book, Buddha Blues, Francis suffers a karmic tragedy due to finding his Right Livelihood. A Buddhist concept that means you're doing what you're supposed to be doing. His Right Livelihood  of drawing Snidely Whiplash Mustaches on benign images of the Buddha attracts a psycho monk.  Francis wakes up in a hospital not knowing who he is or how he got there. The story unfolds as he tries to recall his karmic path and survive long enough to contemplate the viability of suicide. 

  Camus in labeling life as Absurd knew of what he spoke. Until next time when Yin and Yang may once again spring forth in Humor or Sorrow. Either way may you be serene in the laughter or the tears. Yes and why are male witches made president while female witches are hanged or roasted? Maybe a teeny tiny chauvinistic bias at work here! 

    Oh yes the true story is about Goldilocks and The Three Bears. Three Bears did manage some Karmic revenge in California. The story about Aaron Rodgers Covid Toe takes off from elements of truth. There's no evidence that he broke his toe on a black walnut or that his gardener got Covid. I do think Taylor Swift has inspired him to consider retiring to become a singer/song writer. The stocking hat and hair are suggestive. At the moment he's focused on another Super Bowl run. The story about Gunther IV  the worlds richest German Shepard pure spoof. When told he was broke. Gunther wagged his tale said, "Woof." Great attitude Gunther. Have a milk bone chew.

     Anthony G. Hendricks, author, poet, nature lover -- naturally;  Buddha Blues, just published with a great cover created by his Sister Judith; available at Amazon as print on demand or as an e book at Amazon or Kobo. With formatting help on cover and interior by Woven Red. Other books The Wasteland Revisited, a book length poem about the dystopia causing global warming; available as an e book at Amazon; A Journey In The Human Dilemma, collected poetry and prose; trade paper back only available through the author.